


Metaphor of the Eye

by Narroch



Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-03-03
Updated: 2009-03-03
Packaged: 2017-11-09 20:52:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/458254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Narroch/pseuds/Narroch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Out of all the teachers and comrades and flocking adorers that filled his short life, only one clumsy boy had managed to force him to take his eyes off his goal. Even if it was only for a second, it was unforgivable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Metaphor of the Eye

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this back in '09 on fanfiction.net. Moved it over here to save it from the Purge of Filth.

Sasuke could always hear his voice.

Always loud, always overly dramatic, overflowing with a native boundless energy. It was the intrinsic sound of annoyance to Sasuke; regardless of what was being said, that voice would squirm past his practiced disregard and scrap at the vellum of his eardrums until he acknowledged the blond's presence. It was pointless and, for a ninja, even dangerous; it gave away his position too easily. However, Naruto was never one to hide in the first place.

His entire personality and appearance screamed out loud -

_lookatme!_

_-_ and for Sasuke the call had been impossible to ignore, even though he still pretended to not notice.

It was that same attitude of blatant, stupid bravery that was Naruto's best quality and it was that same dauntless voice that was always able to believe, to motivate his teammates to get up and keep fighting even if it was an impossibly stacked fight.

However, now for possibly the first time in his life, Sasuke could hear nothing. A silver silence enveloped him; even standing at the base of the waterfall that rose up beyond his sight in a column of white movement and sound. He could not hear the cheery defiant voice and that missing sonance muted even the roar of the waterfall. He gazed over the churning water feeling something cold frothing inside of him as well.

-

He was back in that day when they had first met as teammates. He could feel the earth jutsu sucking him aggressively into the ground like living quicksand; he could feel the tough sole of Kakashi's boot pressing into his skull, arm tightly joint-locked behind his back, twisted at an impossible bone-wrenching angle. By the end of it (when he had been beaten, talked down to and _humiliated_ ), he could only take comfort in the fact that there was one even more mortified than him.

Tied to a wooden pole on his left was Naruto. The loud, obnoxious, hopeless loser he had been saddled with. Even in the memory -

_Dream? Illusion? Fantasy?_

\- he felt resentment, anger and frustration bubble up in his veins, making his burn. He didn't _deserve_ to be stuck with this mess of a ninja, it was _his_ fault they were going to fail! Teamwork was the objective; he knew what the word meant but his mind seemed incapable of jumping the hurdle it presented making it an impossible task to work with such a headstrong nuisance.

A loud creaking growl gurgled from the blond's stomach as his head drooped in defeat. As he hung there, tightly trussed up like a prisoner, Sasuke felt something beneath the rage shift slowly within him and move uncertainly towards the boy. He rationalized the feeling as Kakashi's "teamwork" lesson clicking into action but in reality the feeling was closer to pity. Seeing Naruto so helpless, tired, weak, and hungry and knowing he would have to cooperate with this person despite all of that... A spark of long dead compassion was kindled.

He dug his chopsticks into the fresh mound rice and passed his bento box over to the boy. He didn't fail to notice how his eyes lit up like sapphires, with a double shot of confusion, happiness and, after a second, acceptance.

Naruto's smiling face began to waver, smudging details and blurring colors with heavy handed chiaroscuro, until the entire vision faded away...

-

There was water everywhere.

Pooling in the dips and gullies on the stone, lining the ragged depressions with liquid mirrors. Some of the craters were formed from nature's eternal patient dripping, other were so fresh they were still steaming from the force that blasted them out.

Water covered and filled them all regardless.

A clean rain washing away all colors but one. One vibrant swirling color that was slowly filling and penetrating the static gray surrounding Sasuke. It was thicker than the water, not easily swept away, clinging to the rocks like ruddy tar. It was smeared into a crimson trail, leading to an ending Sasuke couldn't see, _wouldn't_ see.

He began to shiver, staring at the water that was slowly being filled with the unnatural hue.

-

"Oy! Sasuke, I told you I would make it!" Naruto yelled at him from a tree top across from his own pinnacle.

Sasuke simply smirked and tilted his head towards Naruto in affirmation. The small acknowledgment opened the blond's face like a fan, revealing a large toothy grin of triumph.

It was an accomplishment for both of them, bearing bloodied palms, streaks of sap and drained chakras as proof of their conquest. Around their hard earned vantage points the moon set an eerie yellow glow, making the air itself feel alive.

Sasuke didn't want to climb down into the dark forest and leave the ethereal moment behind; it felt too much like a turning point, a momentous axis that was turning just out of his reach. He wanted to stay and try to grasp it, try to understand it.

But he didn't know how to put the feeling into words, the sky was too vast to think and Naruto's smile was too bright to concentrate. With exhaustion coating his muscles in trembles and lactic acid he followed Naruto down. The stubborn pride Sasuke always felt necessary to pose in front of others dropped; for tonight he could let it go and allow the arm Naruto flung over his back as they began to drag each other home. Feeling those warm arms draped around him, a smile plastered over both of their lips and the glowing admission of success, Sasuke was happy.

He was happy…

The trees began to melt, distorting and drooling into blankness; the warmth across his back converted to cold pinpricks of rain...

-

His eyes blearily opened once again; red draining from his vision completely. His entire head felt swollen and heavy, as though filled with cloudy water. He tried to move but it only triggered a stabbing sensation in his eyes that made him gasp in pain. Whining lowly in his throat, holding himself rigid, the hot shards lodged in his sockets slowly dulled to a throb but he knew the intensity would return if he tried to move again.

He knew it wasn't normal. Something had happened… But what?

His mind struggled to recall, hazy visions masked in opaque were just beyond his mental reach and he was too drained to grasp at the wisps of memories that floated by. With a weary sigh he gave up, allowing himself to go limp. There were rocks digging into him, he could feel their reassuring sharpness in his side, his arm, his cheek...

That he could feel them meant this wasn't a dream, that he wasn't dead, despite how cold he felt.

The iciness dripping all around him crept through his skin and settled around his bones but he didn't mind so much. He knew he could tolerate much more extreme temperatures; he had been forced to in the past.

What worried him more was the raw chill that had nestled around his heart. Its icy grip was a warning, a disquiet instinct of something amiss that his mind had yet to apprehend. The stifling sensation made his stomach clench with fear and made his breath flutter out in shaky gasps.

But he had no idea why, and he was too drained to try and remember -

_too scared_

\- because there was only one other time in his life that he had felt such an eerie foreboding and that had been the night filled with blood from a red moon and death flowed thick through the streets.

He didn't want to know what was causing that feeling in him now.

He didn't want to lose anyone else.

And so, even though it hurt to move, he forced his tired body to roll over and he fixed his screaming eyes on the red that had begun to pool around him.

-

This time, as Sasuke fell under, the cold did not disappear – it intensified; turned to ice and froze him until he burned.

A killer was before him, painted mask and flashing needles a blur to the senses as he struck through mirrored angles. But Sasuke was slowly beginning to see, etching movement into blood red retinas and holding the image there just long enough for his body to react. And Naruto, with his seemingly inhuman bank of charka, was throwing off shadow clones like they were shuriken, distracting and baiting the ice phantom ninja. Still being loud and obnoxious but for once _useful_.

They weren't winning but their underdog mentality was turning wolfish, scenting the smallest hint of victory on the frigid air. The singed hem on the reflection was proof enough.

But just as Sasuke was finally getting a handle on the small advantage they had managed to chip out in the impossible scenario, his eyes were only fast enough to show him exactly what he didn't want to see. They allowed him to see the flying needles, let him see into the future as their trajectory was destined to pierce warm, tanned flesh. His eyes, priceless coveted weapons of eyes, could only show him Naruto's blood that would soon be soaking the snow red. His eyes only showed him death.

Something he had seen too many times already in his short life.

There were no thoughts, no words or even ideas, only the pounding of adrenaline and motion so fast the edges of reality blurred around him. It happened so quickly that he didn't feel the bite of metal, the cold piercing pain, all he was cognizant of was the blond on the ground, still alive and relatively unharmed, looking shocked and on the verge of tears.

As he screamed up at Sasuke ( _Why did you do that!? I didn't ask you to save me dammit!),_ the pain finally clutched its electric fingers into his back, liquefying him from the inside out as he struggled to find an answer ( _I don't know_...) The world was fading fast as he lost sensation of his legs in the dimming shifting light. His faculties flicked off one by one, but he could still feel Naruto's warmth, shaking and quivering around him. As the blond silently cried and cradled his numb body, Sasuke's final swimming thoughts were not of Itachi or vengeance but a vague surprise that someone would bother to cry over him and an even stranger gratitude that it was Naruto.

Everything faded to black...

-

...And this time he awoke with a scream. The red in his eyes didn't fade, it only welled up and grew deeper, spilling over and dripping into puddles as slowly unfurling fronds of crimson. The pain contorted him, turning his world into a rigid tunnel with no promise of light at the end. He screamed until his voice was a tired scrape and then he continued to gape silently with wide-eyed pain. There was nothing to compare it to, not the awakened curse mark that bled insanity into his veins or even Itachi's brutal traumatizing genjutsu, there was no sensation that could possibly compare to the agony that was now radiating in molten waves from his eyes.

They were bleeding, he could tell, not because he could feel the tracks running down his face, but because the watery red hue would not leave his vision. And as he began to writhe beneath the weight of his skull being split, he managed to turn over and catch a glimpse of something other than _blooddeathpainblood_ red.

Two sparks of crystalline blue that broke through the bleeding copper membrane of Sasuke's vision and shocked him into stillness. And even though the blue orbs were lifeless, they too stared back, framed by a familiar bruised face.

Just as quickly as Sasuke apprehended exactly what it was he was seeing, just as those shockingly blue eyes began to unstitch him, he snatched his own reflection out of their glassy, accusing stare and threw himself under.

He thought his eyes would burst...

-

...into multicolored light splashed across the wall of Naruto's apartment.

The sunset made horizontal columns through the air, ripe with dusty warmth, turning the entire room hazy with gold. Not that the colors meant anything when he had real gold lying out in front of him, staring hungrily at him, gleaming with sweat.

Sasuke didn't know if there was a right time to do this, still streaked with dirt from their training, the sparring soreness still radiating from their battered limbs. They had been fighting again, always pushing the other harder, forcing him to keep up until they were both exhausted and even then they continued to grapple on the ground, chakraless. Naruto had gotten his arms around him, bearhugging him from behind, pressed close as they continued to jerk and struggle on the soft grass.

It was the bite that turned the tide, Naruto's sharp teeth grazing over his neck and clamping down at the junction of his shoulder. It hurt, but not enough to be considered an attack and when he felt the blond press his lower half tightly to his there could be no mistaking it. Naruto was... he was...

The simple action caused a steep and sudden change in Sasuke and he stilled as the battle adrenaline instantly converted to heat diving down between his legs. He couldn't understand it, why he felt such arousal, why it leapt up so quickly... Why _Naruto_?

But as the blond began to place cautious questioning kisses along his neck, no longer hiding behind any pretense, Sasuke decided he didn't care _why_. All he knew was that he _wanted_ ; and for once in his life it wasn't for a certain man's death. When Naruto began to silently pull away, sensing rejection in Sasuke's rigidity, he didn't get far as Sasuke rolled over and on top of him.

Naruto laughed, delighted and breathless, though Sasuke could still see vivid relief in his eyes. Just from that look Sasuke knew it had to have taken everything Naruto had to work up the nerve to try; he was used to always being pushed away his entire life.

"Naruto... How long?"

He squirmed and blushed before replying, "Ever since our... our first kiss..."

"Idiot... That wasn't a real kiss."

Naruto glared at him, almost pouting, before reaching up to grip his collar and pull him down closer to whisper the words hotly against his lips.

"Then give me a real one now, Sasuke"

And that was all it took. Washed away the doubts, the confusion and when their lips finally met, it just felt so _right_.

They parted for a breath and were up and running. Naruto was pulling his hand, laughing brightly; he seemed to glow as they raced over rooftops. The second the door was shut behind them, the need which had built up overwhelmed them both and Sasuke pushed him against the wall.

He was melting, inside, outside, the intensity of sensation that inflamed him was _so_ far beyond any of his curious fumbling attempts at self-pleasure, that they couldn't be compared. Not when Naruto was grinding hard against him and he felt like he was flying even though he'd never been so grounded and certain in his life. He wanted it, the fire that wreathed his hips, despite how fast it made his heart pound, despite how it made his fingers tremble, just slightly, despite how it made him feel wobbly in the knees. He could allow that weakness to show through because Naruto followed him all the same, matched his pace, pushed them higher and needed it so badly that he was shaking with it, panting in sharp begging gasps, blue eyes phosphorous with want.

He didn't know if there was ever a right time for this, for lying Naruto out beneath him and pushing away clothing, wetting paths along the curves and lines and scars over his body, like he was tracing constellations with his tongue, lingering on bright points and trying to physically swallow down Naruto's brilliance. He tasted like sweat and needles, warm and pulsing and _alive_. He responded enthusiastically to his tongue and soon Sasuke was dipping lower, mouthing uncertainly at Naruto's excitement until he jerked and twitched with needy breaths.

Sasuke reached down, matched his own erection with Naruto's and began pumping them as one, both hands wrapped tightly around their combined girth. Naruto gave a high moan, writhing slightly and suddenly his hands were wrapped over Sasuke's. He could feel how callused they were and the extra texture only made the motion more pleasurable, more sublime.

The heat, white alabaster pleasure was spiraling up in him, tight dizzying loops that coiled him tighter until he thought he would snap. Naruto leaned up, pressed soft pliant lips to his, and moaned into his mouth. The simple sound released him, jerked him forward as he felt the euphoria wash over him and he was vaguely aware that a matching warmth was now covering his hand as both he and Naruto shuddered their simultaneous orgasms out in long white streaks.

They fell forward, landing on each other's shoulders, panting in boneless completion. Naruto tilted his head, nibbled at his ear and Sasuke thought he felt a whisper -

_I love you_

\- breathed against his neck, but he wasn't sure and never asked.

Questioning would only shatter the dream-like quality of the moment. The fleeting remembrance of warmth, pleasure, life...

It would fade, like emissions of cobweb clouds lifting up and away.

And just like that, it _was_ fading; the veil of illusion being slowly pulled back.

-

Sasuke grew up knowing for a fact that whoever he became close to, he would eventually have to murder. That weight on such young shoulders prevented him from making any meaningful friends. He was aloof, distant, trying desperately to keep people away from him on a personal level.

It took someone stupidly stubborn to pester and poke and never ever ignore him to finally break down the barrier he had erected. It took someone with equal determination to his own revenge-bent desire to pierce the cold facade. Unfortunately, that strength that saved Sasuke from loneliness was also his downfall.

The single twinge of empathy that blasted through the gray static membrane of Sasuke's self imposed vengeance was all it took. Out of all the teachers and comrades and flocking adorers that filled his short life, only one clumsy boy had managed to force him to take his eyes off his goal. Even if it was only for a second, it was unforgivable.

He would cut through all bonds that tied him down.

But such metaphors held no weight when severing real flesh, when his best friend's blood was hot and spurting everywhere, covering him, when he heard the gurgle in his chest, and saw the black bubble coming out of his mouth, and the blue eyes wide with myriad emotions encased in their sapphire glow -

_painfearguiltconfusionwhySasuke?_

\- that glazed over just as quickly. Sasuke thought he had steeled himself, thought he had abandoned the useless feelings that would hamper him down but when he saw Naruto fall over into a pool of his own blood and suddenly his eyes tingled with the newborn power of Mangekyo, he simply couldn't accept it. He wanted to take it all back, wanted to remove the kunai from Naruto's neck, wanted him to sit up and laugh with him...

_Stop the world, I want to get off!_

...And for a short period of time, he _could_.

-

When the effects of the final Tsukuyomi drained away Sasuke's sight did not return. The world had been plunged into infinite black ink and he was left in darkness with the shattered remains of his reality. Using the Mangekyo Sharingan on himself so many times in a row caused permanent damage and an all consuming pain that now seemed comparable only to the stabbing ache in his chest.

He struggled against the excruciating pain, against the reality of what he had done, and crawled over to where he knew Naruto lie. He couldn't see but he knew what it looked like anyway, he had done it himself and there were no warm illusions to retreat into this time to soften the grisly mental image.

He could no longer delude himself.

Sasuke lifted the unresponsive body, held it close despite how uncomfortably cold and heavy he was and pressed a kiss to icy lips. He tasted like metal.

Slowly, as tears of blood began to flow, Sasuke rocked the corpse, still gripping tight, whispering in jerking rasps the three words he had never been able to return.

_I love you too._


End file.
